Yesterday I was supposed to take my first Zumba class. It was scheduled for 7:30 pm, and I had planned to leave at 6:45, get there for 7:00, do a quick 15 minute warmup on the treadmill, and then jump into the class.
That didn’t happen.
I realized at 6:13 pm that the class was at 6:30, not 7:30, so I sat there looking at the schedule, wondering for about a minute and a half “will I make it in time?” No... yes, if I hurry... no, you’ll have to drive pretty fast to get there in time... yes, go for it... no, you won’t make it, but you could go anyway and at least get some cardio on the treadmill... just do it... go... leave now!” So I got up, grabbed my stuff and walked out the door and opened the garage door.
Which didn’t open.
I pressed the button again, and it went down and up an inch, where it stopped. Strange. Tried it again... and again... and again. Same thing every time. What was it some genius said a long time ago? If you keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results, you’re not the brightest bulb in the box... or something to that effect. So I went out the front door, got in my car, and tried it from the car. Nope. Same thing. The light of this bulb is dimming fast.
Around 6:40 I decided I’d stick around the house, because I really didn’t understand what was going on with that door, and I didn’t want to leave with the possibility that it might actually open on its own, and leave the contents of our garage in plain view for everyone to see, and pick through if they wanted. Oh, yes, please, come pick through my garage! I’ve got so many items up for grabs: boxes, old stuffed animals, clothes that no longer fit, an old rickety plastic table, a mattress cover... and later in the evening I even discovered a multitude of black widow spiders!
Wait... this feels familiar. I’m acutely aware that I’m using the broken garage door as an excuse to stay where I’m comfortable. To not go to the gym where I may be faced with uncertainty. Or sweat. Or muscle cramps. Or just plain hard work. And I made peace with myself and my excuse, and this time I didn’t beat myself up... as hard as I used to.
So I made a pact with myself that, no matter what, I would take that Zumba class this morning. I did a 15 minute warm up on the treadmill (and, for those of you who don’t know what Zumba is, you really don’t need to warm up first). I chatted with a few women as I waited for the class to start, and they were saying that “so and so is doing this class, she’s pretty good”. And then when we got in there, one of the women said to me “that’s not our usual instructor,” and I heard someone else say “she’s really tough.”
Oh crap. Of all the Zumba instructors of all the Zumba classes in all the world, I had to walk into hers. Did I mention this is my very first Zumba class?
I’m usually up for a challenge, but c’mon, I’ve seen Zumba videos, and I really, really think I’m not ready for this. But I’m also not about to give up and quit early. What was it I said the other day? Oh, yes, this:
“When you get the opportunity to dance, are you a wallflower, sitting on the sidelines? Or do you JUMP at the chance to do something unknown, and maybe even a little scary, even if you don’t know the steps? Not knowing the steps can be exciting! Today, EMBRACE your adventurous side and do something you never thought you’d do before!”
That’s what I did today! I certainly did not know the steps. Every minute of that high intensity, heart pounding, calorie burning group workout felt like ten minutes of tortuous sweat and breathlessness to me! Fifteen minutes into this torture I took a quick drink, and I seriously thought “you know, if I left now, they’d understand, they know it’s my first time, they’ll understand, they won’t care.”
But I chose to stay. Because I’d know. I’d care.
You should have seen her go! That instructor was all over the place with her moves. It was quite the challenge just to keep up with her pace, let alone “get” the steps she was doing. And you should have seen me, moving all over the place, arms and legs flailing about. And as I’m sweating and breathing hard and flailing about, all the time I’m thinking “I’m doing it! I may not be doing it correctly, but I’m doing it!”
So, even if you are approaching uncharted waters, considering doing something unknown, even a little scary, just do it anyway! I’m not the same person I was five years ago. I’m not the person I was a year and a half ago. And I sure as heck am not the same person as I was three days ago when I joined that gym! Every chance you have, I encourage you - no, I URGE you - to JUMP outside that box, break down those walls that you’ve felt so comfortable having surround you for so many years, and do something that you never thought you would do!
You’ll be so happy you did, and you’ll be so proud of yourself! And yes, it’s okay to be proud of yourself!
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